you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
