Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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