I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
