It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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