I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize