I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
