He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize