Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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