We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
