I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
