my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
