I'm so fucking centered right now
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
