Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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