She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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