I seem to have left my pride at pride
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
