Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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