You're earring is so big in my mouth
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
