I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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