You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
