Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
