I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
