I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize