when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
