There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
