Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
