i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Of course I have a pirate flag
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
