I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Randomize
