I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
