She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Randomize
