During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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