I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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