She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
