clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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