Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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