Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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