you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
