I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize