You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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