Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
