it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
