and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
