Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
