My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
birth control should be required to get into college
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize