just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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