i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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