I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize