just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
