I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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