I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Let's paint friendship bongs
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
