Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
