mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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