Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
