I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
