She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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