y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
