Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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