maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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