We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
