He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
