can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
