She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
