i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize