we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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