My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
