i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
