If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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