if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
and she was petting her beer can
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
