Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
