The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
