i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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