I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
