I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
