that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
